The Parking Lot Carjackers
The Parking Lot Carjackers were not a 1990's big-band/ska revival group as some have suggested, but are in reality a villainous group of ne-er-do-wells with a specific strategy of grifting and violence to net big bucks for their gang of hoodlums (sorry for all the street patois/jargon but it is necessary for you to understand the importance and danger of this organization). The Revengerists first recieved an alert of their activity during one of the many "Mail Bag" segments of the Podcast that go unrecorded every week due to the microphone-bots having a bad reaction to the mystical nature of the fabric used for the Mail Bag. It was then that our heroes learned of a scourge of strategic young street urchins with a penchant for car-heisting. The warning read: : Imagine: You walk across the parking lot, unlock your car and get inside. Then you lock all your doors, start the engine and shift into REVERSE. Habit! You look into the rear-view window to back out of your parking space and you notice a piece of paper, some sort of advertisement stuck to your rear window. So, you shift into PARK, unlock your doors and jump out of your vehicle to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view ... when you reach the back of your car, that is when the car-jackers jump out of nowhere ... jump into your car and take off — your engine was running, your purse is in the car, and they practically mow you down as they speed off in your car. BE AWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME Just drive away and remove the paper that is stuck to your window later ... and be thankful that you picked this out of the mail bag and that you forwarded it to your friends. The Revengerists immediately leapt into action the following week, and proceeded to beat up anyone they saw attempting to get in their car in any of a number of nearby parking lots (mostly Shoney's®), almost always attacking the potential carjacking victim and not any members of the gang itself. This is based on a twofold reasoning rubrik; one, that there were never any members of the Parking Lot Carjackers to nab, and two, because the Revengerists decided to, as Dr Tasty put it, "cut off the problem at its source". The Revengerists did not forward the letter to ten of their friends, because they don't do that sort of thing. Since the Revengerists took action, not a single reported case of this particular manner of carjacking has occurred, and the Revengerists have thus declared the gang defeated and the case closed. "They probably just went on to do other crimes." Burnt Umber Team Leader Der Kirche reportedly stated when pressed for details. He then'' pressed back'', with no survivors, not even members of the Press Corps. Only the microcassette recordings survive, and nobody has anything they can play those on anymore. Category:Crimes Category:Groups Category:Enemies Category:Mysteries Category:Villains